Despite total gloom on the real estate market, we’re doing a few renovations to fix the more egregious malfunctions of this apartment. I worry that we’re completely delusional to be putting any money behind expectations of resale.  But with luck, I will graduate and get some kind of job in about a year’s time, and who knows where that job might be*. The apartment should therefore be ready-ish to be put on the market.

To that end, Z and I spent our day off today hanging around cabinet shops with my parents and considering the merits of various makes of fake wood cabinetry.

One of our projects involves combing the internet for parts to repair our vintage  plastic “whirlpool” bathtub. These efforts are based on the uncertain assumption that potential future buyers would prefer to invest in a bathtub that shakes the building with violent, furious bubbles and whose motor roars like a 1970s racing car than to become owners of a bathtub with several intriguing knobs and dials but no action to show for it. Even if we manage to repair it, the bathtub will retain its single most charming feature – the large cigarette burn in its bottom.

Reluctantly starting this renovation project with an eye to resale makes me realize how little remains in this chapter of our lives. I can be very impatient about wanting to move on, but this sweet little slice of time, when we are pretty free to see our friends in the city, and spend time with each other and our parents, and to pursue our selfish individual dreams (i.e. grad school!) is one day going to be missed.

PhD comics has a great T-shirt design that compares grad school to hitting the snooze button on life. But there’s only one more year of sleeping in for me! I might graduate, find a job, maybe leave town, have a kid.  Our lives, our relationship, our friendships and identities will never be the same. There may never be another peaceful moment! I cannot fucking wait, but try not to wish away the fortunate present.  But is it OK to wish away the renovations?

*I never would have foreseen this a few years ago, but I’m strangely drawn to the experience of working for smaller municipalities, where a civil servant might enjoy a wider range of responsibilities than in a big city.  Right now, however, jobs are scarce everywhere.

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