We’ve not even trying to get pregnant and I’m already enduring digestive indignities.

That multivitamin I photographed so eagerly two weeks ago is a rat-bastard motherfucker.

My all-Canadian pregnancy book says to take your prenatal vitamin with meals to prevent stomach upset, and it isn’t kidding. Once I figured out the culprit of my distress, I realized I have to completely stuff myself with a heavy dinner to minimize the damage from one of those nasty pills. And there are still… indignities. I can’t even imagine trying to take them on top of morning sickness, with nothing but a few crackers in your belly.

The bike ride home from this evening’s rehearsal passed the yuppie natural foods store, wherein the vitamin guru, glowing with virtue and health, suggested a new brand. It’s called “Multi for Two” and comes with this completely awesome warning not to take it while pregnant without the advice of a doctor.

That is a little worrisome. Why the hell else would you take a prenatal vitamin? (Well, some people on the internet who are not planning to get pregnant take it for nice hair. Those people are crazy.)

I’ll start taking the hippie horse pill multivitamins tomorrow, 3x a day (yikes), and will run them by my doctor at the next visit. Here’s hoping they are better than the last vitamins.

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