10 1/2 weeks is a strange place to be. I don’t look pregnant to the untrained eye, but I feel fat and exhausted and none of my damn clothes fit.

In preparation for moving house next weekend, I sorted through my wardrobe, separated out everything that no longer fits, and put it into a big plastic bin.The shirts don’t button over my boobs and/or belly, and the pants don’t do up around the waist. It feels like they will never fit again, but we’ll see in about a year.  It will be an incentive to go jogging postpartum.

What to wear to work these days is a challenge, especially since I’m trying not to look pregnant. The belly band is a beautiful thing, but it doesn’t help with shirts. Once we announce the pregnancy in two weeks, maybe some mom friends will lend me their old maternity clothes.

All the clothes that won't fit for another year

On the food front, I don’t have strong cravings per se, but have been eating strangely. Once I lived for chocolate, but on Thursday I made a special trip to the grocery store to buy apples, applesauce and apple juice.

Yesterday’s blood test revealed low hemocrit levels, which is no fun. I had hoped to avoid the need for iron supplements because they caused terrible side effects for some pregnant friends. So this evening at my insistence, Z and I went out for oysters because I read they are very high in iron. It turns out they were gross and I dislike oysters, but it was a good effort. I’ll step up the dried apricots instead.

Overall, I feel emotionally pretty good, with the occasional foray into panic about miscarriage or becoming a bad parent. Physically, I am really tired but only a little bit sickly. (Thank you Diclectin!) It’s hard to mentally separate physical exhaustion from depression. I do just want to lie on the couch all day, but I’m not sad, just tired.

I miss the energy to exercise and do more than read and nap in the evenings. Maybe it will return in the mythical second trimester!

Advertisements