We’ve not even trying to get pregnant and I’m already enduring digestive indignities.

That multivitamin I photographed so eagerly two weeks ago is a rat-bastard motherfucker.

My all-Canadian pregnancy book says to take your prenatal vitamin with meals to prevent stomach upset, and it isn’t kidding. Once I figured out the culprit of my distress, I realized I have to completely stuff myself with a heavy dinner to minimize the damage from one of those nasty pills. And there are still… indignities. I can’t even imagine trying to take them on top of morning sickness, with nothing but a few crackers in your belly.

The bike ride home from this evening’s rehearsal passed the yuppie natural foods store, wherein the vitamin guru, glowing with virtue and health, suggested a new brand. It’s called “Multi for Two” and comes with this completely awesome warning not to take it while pregnant without the advice of a doctor.

That is a little worrisome. Why the hell else would you take a prenatal vitamin? (Well, some people on the internet who are not planning to get pregnant take it for nice hair. Those people are crazy.)

I’ll┬ástart taking the hippie horse pill multivitamins tomorrow, 3x a day (yikes), and will run them by my doctor at the next visit. Here’s hoping they are better than the last vitamins.