Posts tagged ‘optimism’


I got a copy of my ultrasound records from my midwives so I can bring them to the pediatrician at the end of the month. Reading them for the first time, I have just realized all kinds of neat information I had no idea about.

Because of the pelvicaliectasis shitstorm, we had two ultrasounds with detailed measurements taken three weeks apart, at 19w6d and 22w6d. The kid was measuring a week ahead both times, with an estimated weight in the 95th percentile (1.5 pounds a week ago!)

I have the gestational diabetes test coming up this weekend, so as long as I pass that, I will try not to worry about the giant baby situation. I know it doesn’t predict anything about how big he will be at birth, or what his birth will be like. But it is fascinating all the same.

I also learned from the ultrasound records that I have an anterior placenta (but no evidence of previa, so it’s all groovy). That likely explains why I never felt definitive movements until almost 20 weeks.

Having access to your own medical records is the bomb!

“Preconception” Doctor’s Appointment

My “pre-conception” doctor’s appointment was on Saturday, and I’m so glad I went! First of all, the doctor was awesome, and now I have a real “family doctor”, hopefully for many years to come.

The doctor ordered a ton of “preconception” tests, including tests for anaemia, thyroid function, UTIs and a host of STIs. Apparently it’s much easier to test and treat a these things if you’re not already pregnant when you first go see the doctor.

Then she gave me an extremely low-quality photocopy of an information sheet about pregnancy and babies. It’s everything you need to know about conception, pregnancy, childbirth and breastfeeding on one side of a piece of paper that has been faxed and photocopied about a million times. A quarter of the paper deals with nausea and vomiting. It also includes a fuzzy drawing of an enormous pregnant woman doing water aerobics. You can tell right away that this journey is going to be a lot of fun.

The doctor also told me sternly that 30 was good time to be trying (subtext: you’re getting kind of old) and to switch to prenatal vitamins right away, on my third-last cycle before we start trying.

Internet, I am so excited to be taking prenatal vitamins, even though they taste like a blend of rotting fish and potpourri. It’s like we’re actually almost there.

The other side

Here we are, in the new year! Things got too crazy to post for a few months, but we had quite a civilized little wedding (thank you, family). Then, last week, I started my new job!  The job, unlike the husband, is still too new and unfamiliar for me to have a clear sense of, but I do intend to make the very best of it, and keep it for a good long time if I can.

Some resolutions for 2011, from my Evernote file:

  • Be on time for stuff
  • No complaining about being busy
  • Make time for friends
  • Stop feeling guilty

So far, I’ve been doing pretty well on all except maybe #4. I need to work harder at #3.

In 2011, in addition to the above we look forward to:

  • going on a honeymoon!
  • settling down in my job and developing expertise (i.e. getting good at it)
  • having a wedding reception, about 9 months after the wedding
  • eating better
  • visiting my family on the prairies
  • trying to conceive our first child
  • dwelling-hunting

Here’s to new beginnings, and to long slow patient happinesses.

Every beginning is some other beginning’s end

Would you believe I got the motherfucking job?!! I’m officially employed from the week after next until the end of 2010. Hello real world + thesis project!

For years, I’ve lucked or negotiated my way into day jobs that were less than full time, so I had time to teach music (and attend classes, and other stuff!) on the side. But this time negotiation wasn’t feasible, so for the first time since 2003, I’ll be at a desk from 9 to 5, 5 days a week. Good for me, I’m sure, and I really hope to get the damn graduating project done during evenings and weekends, sooner rather than later.

The schedule means that music teaching has to go. Happily, my mentor and friend who runs the music studio found a fantastic replacement for me almost immediately. I spent a heartbreaking hour calling up all my students, some of whom I’ve taught for years, and telling them I was leaving them in good hands.

All in all, music teaching has been an amazing experience. Music students aren’t personal buddies, but they’re not colleagues either. Teaching has been a chance to build relationships with people of all ages and walks of life and help them realize their dream of playing an instrument. I really admire all of those folks, especially the adults, for taking time out of their busy lives to follow their bliss.

A few days ago, on my last day of teaching, I was in charge of closing up the studio at the end of the night. One of the other teachers was herding all the students out the door, saying “It’s hotel/motel time, follks! You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here!” Into my head crept the little pop song that one of my old roommates used to love: “Every beginning is some other beginning’s end.”

So that’s where I am. To seize this beginning, I had to let some other stuff go. But this is totally the path I want to be on.


I’m really more of an herbivore. Food that can’t run away is for me. But I have started looking for jobs, and yuck. It’s totally this game of strategy, me showing some of my cards but not others, and also weighing the inconvenience of potential start dates against the desirability of the workplace and…

I’m currently drafting an email expressing cautious interest in employment in an environment I was already cautioned against, which is also one hour and 38 minutes away from my apartment by bus.

by D Sharon Pruitt

Yeck. That’s just preposterous. And yet… will there be a better option? Would it actually be better to move away altogether, uproot Z and leave my parents and our friends for a better job somewhere else? Feck, I dunno.

Watch me figure it out though. I’ve got another 2-week “home retreat” coming up with Z going out of town for work and me with plenty of shit to sort out.